Script | Frenemies, 2017
King Abdulaziz ibn Mohammed Al Saud – AKA Ibn Sa'ud Shaikh Salim Al Mubarak Al Subah – AKA Shaikh of Kuwait
Shaikh Hamad ibn Isa Al Khalif – AKA Shaikh Hamad or Bin Isa
Arnold Wilson – Civil Commissioner (Baghdad)
John More – Political Agent (Kuwait)
Harold Dickson – Political Agent (Bahrain)
Sir Percy Cox – Political Agent (Bushire)
Faisal Al Duwaish – Prince of the Mutair tribe.
Dickson receives a text msg from Ibn Saud:
I.S: Hey Major? How are you? Hope you are well.
H.D: Hi Ibn Saud. Good thanks, how can I help you?
I.S: I got your email in regards to the question of the Sheikh of Kuwait and the 6th article of th treaty between me and H.B.M's Government. I have some concerns.
H.D: Do let me know...
I.S: I know I can't change the boundaries of Kuwait and I haven't. But Al-Subah is being aggressive.
H.D: How so?
I.S: I don't know what he's been telling you but Nasir told me that Al-Subah has been spreading rumours about me at coffee shops. Mocking me in front of my cousin and servants. They even fired shots in the air pretending that Bin Rashid killed me!
H.D: Noooo I'm sure that's not true. If it is just be the better man.
Dickson starts a new group of the British:
H.D: Hey guys I thought it would be best to start a group. Maybe it'll help ease tensions.
S.H: I just wanna say Ibn Saud has been acting crazy.
S.S: I agree.
H.D: Weren't you and Ibn Saud buddies, Sheikh Hamad?
S.H: Yea not anymore. Sheikh Salim showed me the truth.
I.B: What truth?!
P.C: Anti-bin Sa'ud propaganda?
A.W: Morning! I thought about what we discussed yesterday and I'm gonna send an arbitrator to figure out the terrirotial dispute.
H.D: Good idea.
J.M: Also both of you, Ibn Saud and Sheikh Salim, should both be cool and halt fighting at the mo...
I.B: Hi everyone.
A.W: Whats up?
I.B: Guys, Salim crashed a couple of territories and he wasn't invited. He's also conspiring with the Shammars! I know I can't fight him but you guys have to intervene.
H.D: Are you sure you didn't start it?
I.B: Yes! I don't wish to fight but they wish to quarrel with me.
P.C: We will definately look into it Ibn Sa'ud.
I.B: Hey guys I got your email and accepted the terms and conditions.
H.D: Cool just scan and send back with signature.
I.B: Just wanna say that Al-Subah has no boundaries (literally). Even the sea isn't his. Let him proove it.
A.W: Of course.
I.B: Like I said I won't start a fight but I'm gonna get my defenses up in the north. I'll punish him if comes one step near the base.
H.D: No fighting please!
J.M: Hey Sheikh Salim. Did you get the contract?
S.S: Hey guys sorry for the late reply. Yea scanning and sending my agreement now.
S.S: So I couldn't help but read Ibn Sa'uds comments above. I sent some info prooving what parts belong to us.
I.B: CC me you liar!!
S.S: (Hand emoticon)
I.B: Dickson you there?
I.B: You know you're dealing with a crook right?
I.B: I know his kind. They think they're rulers.
H.D: Let's remain diplomatic please.
I.B: Careful of him Dickson. God willing, I shall know how to punish him so that he may repent.
S.S: Is that a threat?
S.H: Just wanna say that there's a large raiding party from Kuwait under supported by the Shammars.
S.H: At Jahrah. Under the auspices of Salim.
S.H: 'Coz Ibn Saud is desobeyingly building at Jariyah when he shouldn't!
J.M: Ib Saud?
S.S: British folk listen up. My patrol intercepted a letter from Ibn Saud to Ibn Shukhair!
S.S: It says: Regarding the wall (I'm guessing Jariyah), you know that it will benefit you and you are responsible for it. With regard to Subah, you need to be concerned; please God every enemy will be defeated.
P.C: Ibn Saud, the High Commisioner is on the way. Please possess your patience.
I.B and S.S leave the group.
P.C: What did I say?
J.M: Guys Ibn Shukair and Duwaish's son just left Jariyah to attak Jarhrah!
P.C: How do you know?
J.M: The source is said to be reliable.
J.M: A little birdie has told us that the Ikhwan left Wafrah for Subaihiyah. Lit torches and everything.
P.C: Where's Sheikh Salim?
J.M: At Jahrah. People are nevous here.
J.M: Just an update... there's been no attack so far. The wildest of rumours are current.
J.M: GUYS! The battle has started yo!
J.M: They're saying Sheikh Salim is down and the fort is besieged at Jahrah. (sends photo). People say they'll attack Kuwait!
H.D: Chill More!
J.M: No we need a man-of-war. It would have a very soothing effect.
P.C: I'll see what I can do.
J.M: I see little chance of success unless we send airplanes.
P.C: I'm asking S.N.O if he can proceed or send ship to Kuwait at once.
J.M: I didn't sleep all night. It was constant firing.
P.C: More, S.N.O told me that His Majesty is arriving tomorrow morning.
J.M: Guys I think it worked. Jahrah relieved and Ikhwan retire.
J.M: Yea but how far?
J.M: I got a msg from Duwaish and he was so rude. He's keeping the loot and demanded Sheikh Salim to prohibit smoking, loose-living etc in Kuwait.
J.M: The ikhwan are still loitering in Subaihiyah.
P.C: Let's get in touch with Ibn Saud...
J.M: The Ikhwan are reinforcing and the Kuwaitis think we're cowards. No cool guys.
H.D: I msged Ibn Saud and he says he has nothing to do with this.
J.M: Yea right..
H.D: He says that it's coz Sheikh Salim insists on keeping Ibn Tawalh at Jahra or something like that. Ikhwan aren't happy about it.
J.M: So basically Ibn Saud can't handle his Ikhwan subjects? They need to be recalled.
P.C: Should we sen His Majesty's ship for another visit to Kuwait?
J.M: Hells yeah.
J.M: Rumour has it the Ikhwan are reinforcing. They apparently can't 'thread a needle' without approval of Ibn Saud.
H.D: But Ibn Saud said he wasn't involved?
J.M: Send airplanes to bomb the ikhwan at subaihiyah. I bet they've never seen one before it'll scare the living daylights out of them.
J.M: Ib Saud can't blame us for punishing his subjects who defy his order right?
J.M: It would raise our prestige guys.
A.W: Guys before bombing lets try a more peaceful method.
J.M: Like what?
A.W: Maybe we can drop Arabic warning leaflets over their camps by plane.
P.C: Maybe we should send an envoy? A peaceful messenger?
A.W: Yea true they might shoot the planes.
J.M: Guys I'm ccing you an email from Duwaish to Al-Subah. Basically if they don't become 'muslims' the truce is over.
P.C: More, we sent you: 100 small copper bombs, 10 112lb bombs, 200 gallons aviation petrol, 20 gallons lubricating oil, 5000 rounds.
J.M: Thanks man.
J.M: Sends photo
J.M: I think this will work.
A.W: If God is willing...
5 years later…
S.P: testing... is this group still active?
S.P: attach image
S.P: the borders are finally drawn up. Sheikh Salim seemed quite disappointed but omg it was so awkward with Ibn Saud...
A.W: can't wait to retire...
H.D: I'm liking Kuwait it's pretty chill. My wife has been drawing the wildlife here and I have a nice place.
J.M: don't rub it in.